The Unknown Unicorn: The Unicorn is a strange, paranoid, and majestic creature, often found in attics and in basements. They keep to themselves, although they enjoy eating deep-fried horse heads dipped in olive oil and goat's blood. The Unknown Unicorn is a particular breed of Unicorn found in British Columbia. A nocturnal creature, it feeds on porcelain jars, ceramic bowls, and, occasionally, deep-fried horse heads dipped in olive oil and goat's blood. It also likes apples, and Apple.
The Saber-Toothed Haggis: A creature found in the Scottish Isles, resembling a small mole or weasel. It digs through the soil, creating holes in the ground that many mistake to be moles holes. The only true difference is this; Haggis holes can be boiled to make Haggis soup, a popular Scottish dish that has nothing to do with a sheep's stomach. Alternatively, one can grill the entire Haggis by slicing it open and cooking the contents, which resemble a bunch of ground-up black balls. The Saber-Toothed Haggis is a particular breed of Haggis that enjoys feeding upon the misery of others, and visits senior's homes to attempt to do so. The Saber-Toothed Haggis has no teeth.
The Artistic Autistic Astronaut: Often found orbiting several large planets, the Artistic Autistic Astronaut is no ordinary astronaut. He is, instead, a hive of mental activity, in which thoughts are processed, pondered, signed in duplicate, thrown in wastepaper baskets, signed in triplicate, thrown out the window, and buried in peat for up to three years. He lives in space, and yet inside he is a sad circus clown that yearns to be part of a large-scale performance. He enjoys drawing, and in his spare time will draw pictures of people drawing pictures. He claims to be a true astronaut, though in truth he failed his astronaut training exam at space magic astronaut camp, in which he practiced making fake moon landings.
The Dastardly Descriptive Duck: The Dastardly Descriptive Duck is a duck. However, this particular species of duck is British, and spends its time dipping in the pool at Duckingham Palace. It spends its free time hijacking transit buses, and driving them into private schools. It enjoys swallowing abuse, and deliberately punches people before they eat, to gauge their reaction. Unfortunately, The Dastardly Descriptive Duck is missing its bill, and instead has a giant typewriter on the end of its nose. As such, The Dastardly Descriptive Duck cannot fly, and instead attaches itself to bottle rockets and circles Jupiter’s moons, particularly Ganymede and Io.
The Saber-Toothed Haggis: A creature found in the Scottish Isles, resembling a small mole or weasel. It digs through the soil, creating holes in the ground that many mistake to be moles holes. The only true difference is this; Haggis holes can be boiled to make Haggis soup, a popular Scottish dish that has nothing to do with a sheep's stomach. Alternatively, one can grill the entire Haggis by slicing it open and cooking the contents, which resemble a bunch of ground-up black balls. The Saber-Toothed Haggis is a particular breed of Haggis that enjoys feeding upon the misery of others, and visits senior's homes to attempt to do so. The Saber-Toothed Haggis has no teeth.
