Age of Zombies © 2010 Halfbrick Studios : Killing Zombies with a Badass Hero (2.99)

Our personal favorite badass Barry STEAKFRIES is ready to take out hoards of zombies on the iPhone! This game was originally available on the PSP, and due to the fact that it was critically acclaimed and super addicting, it was ported to the iPhone. Barry Steakfries is the most hilarious, awesome and badass character you have ever seen in a video game. Halfbrick Studios have outdone themselves in this game.

Graphics: The same as they are on the PSP, basic and retro. Age of Zombies has adequate graphics which serve their function and look great. The retro feel really suits the "over the top" storyline of the game. I definitely think it was a good idea keeping the graphics simple and slick. Great job to the graphics designers!

Controls: The controls were decent but just short of great. There are definitely some challenges for developers making a dual-stick shooter on the iPhone, virtual joysticks have their issues.  You could move around rather easily, and get into the gameplay almost instantly but sometimes I had a bit of trouble moving around, especially when firing grenades. This was not a huge issue, but it did stop the flow of gameplay at times. I can’t complain or penalize the developers as there is not much anyone could have done to fix this issue, and compared to some other iPhone titles they did a great job.

Gameplay: AWESOME. You just shoot hoards of zombies with many weapons. It is simply addictive, traveling through various locations in history: Ancient Egypt, 1950’s  in New York, Ancient Japan and even the Dinosaur Age! There is a boss to every zone; they are challenging however, very fun to fight. If I had to complain about one thing, it would be that I would like more levels, but there is always the survival mode….. endless replay value.In summary, great gameplay, I think it is something that everyone should have on their iPhone. If I could I would give it over 10 for gameplay.

Recap: Barry STEAKFRIES, is AWESOME, he makes so many jokes, he makes me laugh constantly, and he generally KICKS ASS.  The graphics are simple and sleek, the controls are a bit weak at certain times but overall work great, the gameplay is simply a work of art that should be admired by all. The game’s most appealing attribute is that it is very addicting; you simply can’t put it down.

Graphics: 9.5/10    Controls: 9/10    Gameplay: 10/10   Overall: 9.5/10

Sincerely,

The Unknown Unicorn

Week Cal: It’s like an airport shop. Lots of money for crap.(1.99)

What is this app you ask? It is the epitome of useless apps on the iPod and iPhone and the fact that it is 1.99 insinuates that you are getting unbelievably ripped off. In iCal, you can choose to view your events in list form, day form or in a month form. What this app does, is that it fills in the missing “week” form, but for 1.99 DOLLARS!

Overall Design: The design is gorgeous, but that is because apple has already perfected it. This app is designed to replicate iCal except add this new “week” feature and so, if you feel the need to get this app (perhaps when you are high), then you can enjoy the user friendly adding of events, the orange and purple colours for events and birthdays, and all the lovely features that iPhone users enjoy with iCal. (Plagiarism.)

Usability: Now, I do not argue the fact that this app could be very useful for people who like to record their class schedules, or weekly meetings,  however, I feel it should be something implemented into the iCal system, rather than something which you have to pay to add to your collection. The controls and manipulation of the events are the same as iCal and therefore, quite simple, but can be used effectively.  A positive of this app however, is the fact that both iCal and this app correspond with each other, meaning that if you add an event in iCal, it will show up on Week Cal and vice versa. Though, I suspect, there are a few glitches, like all my events in iCal moving one day ahead. So in summary, it is quite user friendly, however, pointless and glitchy at sometimes.

Usefulness: As I have blatantly stated before and I will say it again, this app is one that does not deserve a spot on your iPod. Though useful to some people, the fact that this costs more than good apps like Kinetic or the good games like Cut the Rope means that you are getting ripped off for an app that is only slightly useful. If you are someone who needs a week organization, choose one of the free ones or the 99 cent ones and don’t get ripped off. For the usefulness of this app, I personally feel that you are wasting 1.99

Recap: This app is not terrible by its functionality or design, however, it fails in the fact that it is an app out there that no one needs. Though it may contain cool features like the connection between iCal and Week Cal (which is full of glitches) both the price and the general usefulness do not appeal to me. 

Design: 7/10 Usability: 5/10 Usefulness: 2/10  

Overall: 4.5/10

 

Sincerely,

The Artistic Autistic Astronaut

Toyshop Adventures © Glu Games Inc: Toys Come To Life! (Does This Sound Familiar?) (Free)

The story goes that a shopkeeper has literally lost his marbles and by taking control of one of his favourite toys you have to go through the levels, retrieve the marbles and also restore balance to the toyshop in this platformer game. “Restore balance”? I’m sorry but I don’t see what “balance” there is to restore if a bunch of marbles go missing. How the hell is this a good objective of a game? And the only “dangers” are these electrical Nanobots, which you have to avoid.

Graphics: I’m not sure if the graphics are iPhone 4 optimised but if they are, I’m sure the graphics would look amazing. On my iPhone 3G however, they suck. They are pixelated, the polygons are of a ridiculously low resolution and although colourful, the whole layout makes me want to throw up. To be honest even for most of us with an iDevice of the old 320x480 resolution I think the developer’s could have made this game look nicer than it does.

Controls: There’s really not much to say here. The controls to begin with are simple and typical for a platformer; two buttons for left and right and a jump button. Soon after you get a button for a lasso and powerups which is when it all goes downhill. They’re barely decent and just functional enough to compliment the terrible graphics.

Gameplay: Lag, lag, lag, lag, LAG!!!!! The gameplay is not smooth, although this may just be due to the fact I have an iPhone 3G. Also, the lasso is absolutely ANNOYING to use; I literally spent twenty minutes trying to stack up a bunch of blocks just so I could jump onto a platform that’s too high to reach normally. I actually only reached it by fluke. The system in which powerups work is just plain horrible. Powerups are supposed to permanently give you an extra ability and the description in the App Store claims that the other toys give them to you. What actually happens? They come in quantities and the toys only give you around two or three each time a new is introduced. And when you run out? You actually have to buy more! I mean come on, a double jump (yes I said double jump) is one of the powerups. Come on Glu, this should be one of the basic abilities to begin with!

Recap: With hardly a game worthy story, sh*t graphics, barely decent controls and horrid gameplay, this game is definitely worth its price tag—nothing. I’m sorry but, this game is nothing but a disappointment; seeing that this game was made by Glu, I expected a lot more. But, if you really want try this game and see for yourself how it is you really don’t have anything to lose because it Is free.

Graphics: 4/10  Controls: 5/10  Gameplay: 2/10  Overall: 3.5/10

Sincerely, Temp (Guest Reviewer)

Silly Bunnies Tower Defense © sillybunnies studio: The Name Says It All! (0.99)

This game is essentially a Fieldrunners clone with a few tweaks and twists. Overall, it is an effective tower defense game. Unfortunately, there aren’t many new ideas introduced.

Graphics: the graphics in this game will BLOW YOU MIND (BOOOM….there goes my mind), 3D models, with the basic look of fieldrunners…… something to die for.  The angle point is exactly like fieldrunners (birds-eye view) and that is where the issue with the game lies… it doesn’t have much originality. While I don’t like this about the game, if they had to clone a game they chose the right one.

Controls: much like everything else, they are polished and well made but very much like fieldrunners, although unlike that game you have a movable hero, which is easy to control and utilize. Your hero looks great, and the animations for his powers are among the best graphics I have seen for the iphone(excluding racing games). 

Gameplay: The game borrows a lot from fieldrunners……… no surprise there. It uses top down view, where you have a grid, and you can build a path for your enemies with your towers. This part is much like fieldrunners, what they add is hero. This is definitely a good feature (and the reason I am reviewing it) but is it worth another purchase?  Otherwise the game ramps up well in difficulty, it gets hard very fast. 

Overall: I don’t know if it is worth a buy if you own fieldrunners. I would call it fieldrunners 1.5; if you a die hard tower defense guy or don’t own fieldrunners…. buy it. Otherwise, screw it.

Graphics: 9/10 Controls: 5/10 Gameplay: 2/10(due to lack of originality)     Overall: 7/10

Sincerely,

The Unknown Unicorn

Weekly AppApproval: Zombie Highway © 2010 Kevin Pazirandeh (0.99)

 

Unicorn: Hey.  What’s your zombie plan?

Haggis: Well, I figured I’d hole up in my cellar and eat canned food until the police get everything under control.

Unicorn: You’ll run out of canned food.  I’m going to grab my car and my shotgun and drive to Alcatraz!

Haggis: Don’t.  Book of Eli was a dumb movie.  Anyway, let’s see how this zombie game plays.

Later…

Haggis: Not bad.  Tilting controls were pretty good, and it was easy to shoot those zombie mutha**** **** and **** with an **** b******* avocado **** and extension cord ****.

Unicorn: I agree.  **** was good.  I enjoyed crushing the zombies against the cars.  Unfortunately, the graphics were slightly below par for a driving game.  It would be nice to see this game with improved graphics via retina display. 

Haggis: There are many different gameplay elements.  I enjoyed finding interesting ways to deal with the zombies, like crashing into them with my car before they can jump, or swerving out of their jumping reach.  Also, zombies take more damage after being crushed against cars, giving you more incentive to save your bullets.

Unicorn: The excess of weapons and addition of 3 game modes means that this game will stay on our idevices for a while. 

Astronaut: I JUST WOKE UP AND IT WAS OCTOBER!  WHAT THE F*** HAPPENED?!

Haggis: Yeah, we knocked you out and stuffed you in the cellar so we wouldn’t go hungry when the zombies invade the earth. 

Unicorn: Zing!

Colorbind © 2010 Daniel Lutz: Little Pieces Of Paper And Circles Make For Exciting Gameplay! (1.99)

Animals are dumb and taste delicious.  Unfortunately that has nothing to do with this game.  BUT THIS GAME DOES HAVE PAPER.  One must align many ribbons of coloured paper so that they cover certain holes on the playing field.  This can be a difficult task, requiring overlaps of ribbons and underlaps of ribbons (actually, I’m pretty sure that’s not a word… yep, that’s not a word.  There’s that weird red squiggly line underneath it after I typed).  Anyway, with a large quantity of levels and an interesting game technique, this is one I wouldn’t miss.

Graphics: Beautiful.  I feel as though I am actually cutting out strips of paper and placing them on the screen.  Everything flows, even the game menus.  I feel as though I am walking through a whitewash room, and throwing strips of paint on the walls. 

Controls: Good.  It is quite simple to place ribbons; simply drag your finger from the starting point of the ribbon to where you would like it to go.  In my opinion, it is easier to do this in Colorbind than in Trainyard, as you can easily retrace your steps by dragging your finger backwards to pull back the ribbon’s path.  The controls never let me down, and gave me that extra piece of enthusiasm when I finished the next puzzle, knowing I had done it ALL BY MYSELF.  I DIDN’T NEED YOUR HELP, STEVE.

Gameplay: A perfect puzzle game, with a simple concept; cover up the holes with the correct colours of paper.  This is easier said than done, as the levels get hard quite quickly.  I have found it impossible to progress past the intermediate stages.  I would call this the one drawback in an otherwise excellent game.  The levels offer a large amount of content, and I can see myself playing this game for quite a while.

Recap: Beautiful, whitewash graphics, simple-to-use controls, and interesting puzzle elements with a large amount of content.  This should not go amiss, especially for puzzler fans that enjoy a challenge.

Graphics: 10/10   Controls: 9/10    Gameplay: 8.5/10   Overall: 9/10

Sincerely,

The Saber-Toothed Haggis

Ringtone Maker Pro © Zentertain Ltd: Ringtones. Life’s way of getting out of things you don’t want to do. (0.99)

Ringtones. This app is for people who interrupt meetings and practices with their phones, but want to sound cool when they do so they make it some hip song. Alternatively, this app is for old people who still want to seem cool. Whoever it is, you can make your own ringtones and add a few little changes to it with this app.

Overall Design: The design of this app is not absolutely gorgeous or a must see. In fact, it probably leans towards the more ugly sides of things. The color scheme is blue, silver, and black at an attempt to look “futuristic” I assume. Though, it only looks futuristic if you’re a dinosaur trying to make ringtones. (Try and get THAT picture out of your head). However, though it may not be a masterpiece, it is quite functional. There is one main page which includes all the parameters, buttons and options. You can also open a little advanced tab at the bottom for more customization and presets. It features cute cartoons, but ones that don’t make any sense and you have to experiment to find out what each one does. The buttons look a little chunky for my liking but the design is something that definitely does not hinder the performance of the app.

Usability: If you are looking for some awesome sound editor that can chop clips and change volume, buy a different app. This app is made solely for ringtones and keeping that in mind, the tools are actually quite useful. Firstly, the controls are like preschool, easy like pie. You get to choose a song from your iTunes library, and then you choose the part of the song you would like as your ringtone. Then you choose the length of your ringtone which ranges from 1 second to 40 seconds. All of this are controlled by slide bars with plus or minus on either end for fine tuning. Then you have your play button, your save button and your change song button. You also have the option of advanced features which include the ability to increase and decrease the speed of the song as well as increase and decrease the pitch. (ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS!!!) This is nice because you can add some ringtone effects to this. It also comes with presets like the ability to change a man’s voice into a woman’s and vice versa. So if you’re into that kind of stuff, then go nuts. Then, you can save it and copy it to iTunes in your next sync. It comes with instructions and everything! All in all, for an app that is purely based on making ringtones, your creative freedom is pretty good.

Usefulness: Once again, like my other review, this app is optimized for the iPhone. (Curse you apple for making us iTouch people feel obsolete). However, this app is still workable with the iTouch. The thing is, after you are done making your ringtone, you just go to iTunes, go to file sharing and save it to your computer. I assume, this means you can put the ringtones on other phones as well which does increase the usefulness value of this app. Plus, now you don’t have to buy those rip off ringtones all the time. (What a bunch of tools) Instead, it is just one easy payment of $0.99.

Recap: So though I trashed the design of this app, it is actually quite useful for someone who likes to have a lot of personalized ringtones. You have quite a few options (probably more than all of iMovie for iPhone’s effects) and so, if you’re into it, then yeah, you’ll enjoy this app.

Overall Design: 6/10   Usability: 9/10  Usefulness: 8/10   Overall: 8/10 

Sincerely,

The Artistic Autistic AstronauTIMMY THE RETARDED SPACEMAN

Red Ball of Goo © Utopian Games : ITS RED, BRAIN DEAD SO DEAL WITH IT (0.99)

Premise: You are red ball of goo (like from world of goo) and you must collect all the purple orbs to advance to the next stage. You have no jump button and can only move left and right. This little ambitious red goo will change our lives FOREVER. (YAH RIGHT!!!)

Graphics: Overall it has very mediocre graphics.  The red goo looks pretty bland. It is just a red dot with eyes. (Ugh) The purple orbs look like they were made by my niece’s second grade Art class. In addition, the level’s look is simply disgusting. It made me sick just looking at simple black lines, instead of real level designs. Thanks for putting in REAL effort guys. I applaud the team that made this game because they really utilized and only used PAINT for this whole game. I can see that they are very SKILLED and TALENTED graphical designers. Just wonderful. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Controls: This is the game’s strong point and it has a rather interesting concept. This is a shame because the controls are being implemented in a TRULY HORRIBLE WAY. It has no jump button. NO FRICKIN’ JUMP BUTTON!!! It makes you jump by using the ramps provided in each level. This means that you must take careful moves which add a miniscule bit of fun to the game (not even that much).  However, with horrible controls, the need to make precise moves for simple operations and having buttons that don’t respond properly will simply anger you and not make you want to spend 99 cents.

Gameplay: The gameplay is definitely good, but it is overshadowed by the failure in the other categories. It is hard to have a great gameplay when the controls don’t allow you play properly. Keeping this in mind, the game definitely has some interesting levels, where if you move your character one way then there is no way to complete the level.  The level of difficulty ramps up at a good rate, and there is some fun to be had with this game in respect to its gameplay. 

Recap: While it is a good concept, Red ball of Goo lacks the polished look of other iPhone games. It has cumbersome controls which distract from the good gameplay. Will people ever learn?!

Graphics: 2.5/10  Controls: 2.5/10  Gameplay: 7/10  Overall: 4/10

Sincerely, The Unknown Unicorn

Archetype © 2010 Villain LLC: Grab Your Guns And Kill, Kill, Kill!!! With a Friend! (2.99)

A definitive multiplayer shooter experience.  Take control of either a blue or yellow space marine, and kill other blue or yellow space marines.  The main goal of the game is to rack up 40 kills against the opposing colour, by making use of several pieces of advanced memory (I like the rocket launcher the most).  I have yet to come across a better multiplayer shooter game than Archetype (besides CODWAWZ), which exemplifies a true shooter experience for a cheap price.  Unfortunately, like all games, it has its flaws.

Graphics: Not bad.  Each of the 6 or 7 maps found in Archetype definitely look ‘futurized’, a word I invented this afternoon.  Unfortunately, they also all look the same.  There is very little difference between any of the maps.  Thankfully, the layout of each map is designed differently, so it feels like a different experience on each map.  The guns look great, and there is even a giant battle axe you can use to smash hour enemies into oblivion.  

Controls: Perfect for the shooter genre.  Like NOVA and Modern Combat, Archetype uses dual-stick controls as expected for any shooter, with a twist; auto-fire.  Basically, if your aim reticule rests on an enemy, the reticule will turn red, and your gun will fire.  Simple as that.  I found this made the game a lot easier to play, and a lot more fun when using the Concussion Rifle.

Gameplay: Simple deathmatch fun.  Collect firearms, shoot enemy, die.  Repeat.  A simple formula, but it works.  Unfortunately, deathmatch is the only mode in the game.  However, Archetype has received many updates of late, one of which introducing a modified version of a map with only rocket launchers.  I do hope that the developers will consider putting new modes into the game in the future, such as a capture the flag mode or what have you.  As is stands however, Archetype is worth every penny, combining steady shooter elements with a ‘futurized’ look and great online match-up.  Playing with friends, for win!

Recap: Graphics don’t stand out, but they fit the game’s future setting.  The controls are without flaws, so each mistake you make is your own fault.  Gameplay is fun, but lack of game modes is slightly disappointing.  More weapons would be nice, too.  For 2.99, this game packs a punch.

Graphics: 8/10   Controls: 10/10    Gameplay: 7.5/10    Overall: 8/10

Sincerely,

The Saber-Toothed Haggis

Kinetic - GPS Tracking and Timing © Mothership Software: Running Is More Fun Now! (2.99)

Hello. I am the Artistic Autistic Astronaut (triple A for short).  I like doors.  DOORS.

This app is for all of you go getters who like to keep fit and for those of you that should be exercising for your medical health (you know who you are). The reason: this app is actually quite easy to use and very handy for you to have. It monitors your time, distance, miles per hour for running, walking, biking and many more activities. In addition, it monitors your progress, and you can even set goals which encourage you to keep exercising. For geeks, jocks, fat and thin alike, this app is something for you.

Overall Design: This is a gorgeous combination of greens and browns, which give you an earthy feel. I feel calm and natural when I run because of this application!  It features a main page where it lists your current music, distance, time, and miles per hour. You can tap each “module” and find out other options as well. It also tells you your gps signal, activity and event date. You can customize the modules by deleting or adding new ones, all on a nice beige background. The interface is wonderful, and the touch sensor is very responsive. You just flick through all the modules and tap for more information. This is truly wonderful, and shows me the beauty that this world can contain.  Like teapots.  Or little rocks.  And churches.  CHURCHES.

Usability: This app is perfect for someone who wants to lose weight (LIKE YOUR MOM) because you can set goals for yourself concerning time and distance. Then, like WiiFit but a bazillion times better, it tracks your progress and gives you information about how well you’re doing. There is also a lock feature, so that your idiot friends don’t snoop around your private business. The controls are very simple, but if you still need a lot of help (I do because I’m autistic.  DOOR) there is a full length tutorial that teaches you all parts of this app. However, there is one problem.  This application requires an iPhone to work. So for those of you losers who have an iTouch, you are kind of screwed but for the iPhone users, very good app.

Usefulness: Now there are a lot of crap apps out there which are stupid and do not have any right to be on your iPod. This app however is very useful for you if you really want to be fit and feel slightly better about yourself. You can set goals, and work towards a healthy you! (Taken from a cliché weight loss ad). But seriously, you will really enjoy this app.

Recap: A well-designed interface, easy usability, and value for your money gives this application a rating of 9/10.  You know what else deserves a 9/10 rating?  DOORS.  Also, DOORS don’t require an iPhone to operate.

Overall Design: 10/10     Usability: 8/10     Usefulness: 9/10     Overall Score: 8.5/10

Sincerely,

The Artistic Autistic AstronauTIMMY THE RETARDED SPACEMAN