Haggis: Check it out! Remember that game that we sorta thought would come out eventually but didn’t?!
Unicorn: Duke Nukem Forever?
Haggis: No.
Unicorn: My Little Pony vs. The Hulk?
Haggis: No.
Unicorn: Sonic 4?
Haggis: Yes! It’s on idevices too!
Unicorn: All right! Let’s check it out!
Haggis: It’s 9.99.
Unicorn: Jesus Christ. Well, let’s empty our pockets.
Later…
Haggis: We’re… done.
Unicorn: We beat it? It was kinda short.
Haggis: Well, the graphics are much improved over the other pathetic attempts at Sonic games released for iOS. Unfortunately, the controls are implemented through a joystick, which is very hard to control. I can see it working better on the PS3, but on the iPod… Euueuuuuuhhhh.
Unicorn: The boss battles were fantasmariffic, and the aerial targeting attack is absolutely awesome. Unfortunately, this targeting attack is sometimes needed to get to parts of the levels (e.g. targeting an enemy on a higher platform to advance) which can get frustrating at times.
Haggis: All in all, however, we’re glad we shelled out 20 bucks. A time-waster that was actually enjoyable, with great graphics that we can appreciate. Sonic is hard to control, but awesome levels and great boss battles make up for it.
Unicorn: Actually, it was 10 dollars. I used the other 10 to buy soda.
Haggis: *@#$^!#&$*#(@$&.
Status: APPROVED
This has been a joint product by The Saber-Toothed Haggis And The Unknown Unicorn.
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